How do you continue to give when you feel like you just don’t have it in you? What does exceeding expectations look like to you, especially when you feel like you don’t have it all to give? How do you root yourself in your strength to remember that your best, daily, is literally going to look differently?
These are some of the larger questions that have been hanging over my head lately. It feels like in the atmosphere, there are so many things happening that it feels like there’s a pull towards something different than what I expected in my life. When you want to or are expected to exceed expectations in a certain area of your life/career, there has been this feeling that I am pulled to be elsewhere. I can personally speak for myself by saying that I have been feeling this awakening inside of me in regards to things I don’t want to do because they don’t serve me and my happiness. It gets hard when you factor in that sometimes, you have to fight against your natural instinct in order to get past what is right in front of you. What’s ironic is I came across this tweet from @AudreyKitching as I was in the middle of this, searching for direction as I wrote and it just spoke to me.
It’s easy for us to fight to make other people happy in a job, in a relationship, or in some other aspect of life because we feel like we have to. It is important to remember that you are in control of what you can handle and that you are the only person that can show up and exceed expectations for yourself when you’re able to. You can’t allow situations that don’t jive with where you are to take you outside of yourself, because then you are left feeling empty and feeling gypped of your energy. There have been many a time in life where I know personally, I felt obligated to do something, and then I ended up feeling like I have been sucked dry of the energy that I have without anything to show for it.
I know a lot of times, this is done to please other people. But remember, who are you here to please? If you’re not helping yourself first or pleasing yourself first on a spiritual level, what are you really doing? If you’re not following through with something with the most positive intention and being able to bring your full self, are you really functioning at your best? It’s okay to say “no”, and it’s okay to take a step back and learn how to advocate for yourself and what you feel is right. There are always going to be days where you have more than enough energy to expel towards others, and there are days where you just need to take a step back and focus on what is going to work for you and make you feel grounded in your own body.
Yes, it’s okay to skip out on something you don’t feel the most connected to. Your vibration is so important to maintain on a positive level, and when you don’t feel like your vibes are where they need to be, it can be better to just skip out on something. Hell, it’s even better to be vulnerable enough to let folks know where you currently are emotionally and whether or not you jive with something. Instead of having to fight with yourself and beat yourself up about fulfilling something that doesn’t work for you, why don’t we just fight to operate from a place of honesty?
Society has normed this idea of ‘sucking it up’ to save face, and I, for one, am not a proponent of doing that. I graduated from Tami Roman’s school of “This is Who the Fuck I Am”, and I don’t see why I have to turn it on or off just to please others. Yes, we have jobs where there are certain rules and regulations we have to meet…but if those rules and regulations don’t sit right in your spirit, why do you continue to fight against what your intuition is telling you? If you are expected to exceed an expectation that is laid out in front of you and energetically you know you can’t meet that consistently, why do you continue to ‘put on a show’? I know…we all need money and we all have to survive out here in these streets, but what is stopping you from actually getting what you need to help you feel fulfilled on a deeper level? Is it worth fighting yourself on a daily basis just to chase paper?
The same goes for a relationship or a partnership of any kind. If you can’t find the willingness to be vulnerable and state what works for you and what doesn’t, how can you truly be peaceful? Others will want you to exceed their expectations for you, but you are the only person that knows what you are able to do and what you aren’t able to do for yourself and for someone else. Without that deep level of communication and honesty, all is nil unless done properly and done with truth.
You have to remember that you should never allow your light to dim for someone or something else that is trying to steal it away from you. There is so much darkness out there for you to get lost in, and you losing your light is never the way for you to get to the space that you deserve to be. Exceeding an expectation and fighting for you looks different for every person every day. Don’t lose sight of what it takes for you to win your battle and feel at peace with how you show up in this world every day.
You are meant to light up. You are meant to feel at home daily. You are meant to reap what you have sewn, and if you feel as though you have given in every aspect that is humanly possible for you, let that be. Part of this whole “grind hard” lifestyle is so toxic to me, and it’s more important to think about how you can show up and feel whole regularly instead of feeling like you’re battling demons and being disoriented regularly.
Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what your soul needs. Just don’t let anyone get the best of you because you feel obligated to do something that doesn’t sit right with your soul. You have to live with yourself at the end of the day. Don’t you want to feel proud of what you’re putting out there, the boundaries you have set, and know that daily you have given all of what you can and feel good about it? It should never feel like a wrestling match. It should feel like you playing with angels on clouds as often as possible. Every day is not going to be perfect, but the beauty of this life is that you have a choice to decide how you want to maneuver through it daily.
Peace and blessings.