Runaway

“A better future can be imagined for segments of time, but it is only in this time that a better future can be built.” – Brendon Burchard

When it comes to examining what is happening in your life, do you face challenges head on or do you tend to run away from them? Have you been in a space of daydreaming so much about what is going to happen in your future that you haven’t taken a bit of time to be present figure out what is happening right around you? Are you present? *knocks on your head*

I ask all these questions because it’s natural to have an aversion to really digging deep into certain challenges. We all have lives that have had some sort of experience with pain, trauma, unhappiness, or misalignment. These experiences have the ability to hinder us from pushing forward in times that are necessary for us to weather the storm…and this comes mainly out of in the form of fear. We think about the lives that we want to have, and want these things to come to pass without really thinking about the work that goes into it. You may not have the answer completely as to what you have a question about, but what you do know is that you have a question.

I know that I have been thinking about mind mapping things out that will help me to achieve the life that I have wanted in a way. Personally, I have been feeling somewhat outside of my own body lately. While sitting in therapy (yes, I am in therapy and therapy is good for you as much as your family may try and think that God is the only one that can fix all your problems) and was explaining how I’ve just been feeling outside of myself in terms of the things that I’m doing and not feeling complete and like I’m present in everything I do. The worst thing someone can do is go through life just for the sake of going through life without any answers or understanding as to why they do what they do and facing their challenges. He asked me to describe why I felt that way, and I struggled for a bit to explain where those feelings were coming from.

After sitting for a bit, I realized that everything that I have been doing is not aligning completely with what I want for myself, and some of the actions that I have been taking don’t necessarily feel like actions that I want to partake in. One of them is a new endeavor that requires me to be somewhere literally every night…and I have NOT been going as frequently as asked to be there. As an introvert (and also still working in education), I am completely DRAINED at the end of my workday even though it has been cut by a couple of hours. It’s also just not my cup of tea, and I’ve been having a hard time admitting that just because it works for others a certain way, I’m not everyone else and it doesn’t work out for me the same way. This isn’t me being rebellious or not ‘trying’ – this is just me being real as hell. Then, I’m supposed to be at these meetings with these strangers at times, and it really isn’t somewhere I want to be. I find it to be a challenge to be there every day in a different setting, not knowing who I am going to run into and I HATE making small talk or trying to connect to people in that space. It’s felt very inauthentic to who I am as a person and doesn’t feel like it resonates with who I am. It’s been a challenge because I have been running away from doing what is ‘suggested to me’ in order for me to gain the mental clarity that “they say” I need in order to progress in sobriety.

After that, I’ve been having this guilt about not going to the gym as I talked about trying to achieve my “forever body” a couple of posts ago, and realized that the intention behind me going to the gym was only because I was trying to prepare myself for Survivor over the summer. I also used to venture to the gym alone, and even with a friend…I don’t think I would enjoy it. It would make me feel good I went…but that was only because I know that I was paying that monthly fee and I’m glad I put that money to good use.

However, I came to the conclusion as I spoke that my journey is not like everyone else’s and the way that I feel is valid. I have realized that the way I get to the place that I want to be doesn’t have to look like how someone else has gotten there and I have to be okay with that. I have control over some things in my life (not all, which as a Scorpio is a hard thing to admit), and I should be able to manifest some form of happiness even in those challenges in a way that doesn’t have to be completely COMFORTABLE, but also shouldn’t heighten my anxiety. I have to believe that even though my journey to happiness on my own terms isn’t impossible, and I do believe that. I believe that breakthroughs are meant to come my way (and your way also) when you let down the walls of what you believe should happen, and take action towards just choosing to BE and stand in FAITH that whatever is going to come your way will come, even if it seems like a difficult challenge to face. You also have to remember that authenticity and tenacity are key.

I realized that me being in the gym was just because of me seeing others in the gym and having the bodies that I have wanted to have for such a long time. I know that that takes work, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be achieved the same way that it’s been achieved by others. I actually signed up for yoga classes this week, because that has been something that I’ve been wanting to do, and know that even though they may not have the same physical results as the gym would for those gym heads, that’s not the type of way I want to achieve the body I’m looking to have. I think about this as not running away from my challenge, but maneuvering differently around it and figuring out how to make it work for me the way I want to make it work for me.

I quoted the quote earlier because the future is able to be built in the present. I can’t just dream about it and imagine that it’s going to just come to pass. As stated before, work has to be put in in order to acquire what you desire. The way that that can be done is ever changing – it is necessary to make sure the intention behind it is pure and also soul-filling in the way that you want it to be. If you do something out of spite or feeling obligated to, chances are you will not perform it to the best of your ability or the way that you initially intended it to happen. You can’t avoid what reality is in the moment – it’s so tempting to run away and hide from what you don’t want to face. But where does that really get you in the end? Free and motivated people do not avoid reality – they face it head on and make shit crack the way they’re supposed to. It doesn’t have to always be flowers and candy and lollipops…sometimes, it’s going to be raindrops, drop tops, and hot boxes.

Okay, not really, but you get what I mean.

When you meet your challenge head-on, you find success. So instead of running away from the challenge, find a way to outsmart it and pivot so that way, you can avoid blocking your blessing and getting to the space you want to see yourself at.

Think of ways that you can go into this week facing your difficulties head-on, and then reflect on what you were able to learn from having to confront those hard situations. I bet you’ll come out on the other side with a level of wisdom that you never thought you would truly have. We’re about to exit Virgo season soon and enter Libra season, and things will start to make more sense and chill out for you. You won’t be as high strung and you’ll actually be able to enjoy life and the challenges it throws at you. You’ll be able to handle them with ease.

Just keep floating, as they say. And remember, running away from your problems never answers them. It just leaves the problems at your doormat for you to have to answer them later on down the road…and who wants to be bothered with old shit minutes, hours, days, weeks, months from now? Just go ahead, do the work, build the future you want, and stop being a little bitch about it by avoiding the things you need to do. *insert black emoji shrug here* and I say that from the most loving place ever.

Go into this week with power, and run forward instead of running away.

Amen. Asé.

-gg

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