there are signs all around us if we allow ourselves to be open to them. but we also shouldn’t beat ourselves up if we don’t catch the signs in time – that means there’s a lesson to be learned and we have to open ourselves up to what it’s here to teach us.
i don’t know where the above feeling came from, but i know it’s something that need to be said. it’s the new year and i have been thinking about all of the things that i want to change. this doesn’t go to say i wasn’t thinking about them last year, but i feel somewhat more of an ‘oomph’ to get shit done. i’m not sure if i’m the only one feeling that energy, but i definitely feel somewhat more ‘desperate’ in a sense to accomplish what i have to do in order to acquire my personal joy. this is hard to do, however, because old mindsets and habits have to be broken in order to move forward. chains that have held you back need to be erased. …and figuring out how to do this is a process.
i’m a go-getting type of bitch. when there is something that i want and i have a pretty hefty desire to get it, i’m going to try my best to do something to ensure that it’s gotten. i’ve been doing better and need to give myself credit for that, but i also need to remember that everything is a process. lemme tell you – since this new year has started and your gorl has been working, she’s been coming home, chillin’ for a couple hours or so, and then falls asleep at someone’s grandmother’s bedtime. this means that i need to add something to the docket to do, and i always have options or ideas at my discretion. i just haven’t had the energy to take stock in making a difference or a change at these very moments because my day wipes me of everything.
i have to forgive myself and not wake up angry that i fell asleep early. but i have to learn how to offset that with the time that i am awake and do what i can. i HAVE been writing in my real journal a lot more lately, even at work, so that’s a plus. and i’ve been reading more too. that’s another thing i have to look at.
what i’m here doing is trying to be practical about my situation, and i implore you to do the same when it comes to making a change. every little inch counts, and this is something that i’m sure you have heard before…but it’s the freakin’ truth. and everyday won’t be perfect. but every day is an opportunity to inch closer to the reality that you have been wishing to have. that’s just as long as you put in action towards it little by little. your day in the sun will come.
this morning, my oracle card spoke of victory and success coming my way, and i extend that to anyone that takes time to read this. my tarot pull told me that i was susceptible to a lack of practicality or energy vanishing, which is true. i just have to keep this in mind and remember that i always have to listen to my body and what it’s saying when it needs a break. i tell this to you all as well – listen to what your body says. it always knows the answer because it’s a celestial being, and it was created to help you navigate your soul’s mission. your soul and your spirit know when it’s time to sit down, so don’t second guess that.
what’s funny is i was supposed to do this last night, but this morning doing it feels more like a joy and an outlet more than just ‘doing it for fuck’s sake’. and that’s what life is supposed to feel like on a regular basis to some extent. living it is and should be a joy; don’t let anyone or anything take that away from you. you have the power and authority to regulate that.