russian doll.

silence surrounds me. i’m trying to find myself again. suspended in space. lost. black. darkness. the stars are still visible trying to direct me where to go, but i can’t read them. i feel like i don’t understand the language and i didn’t properly prepare for this at the moment. i’m just moving with the motions and it’s not making sense. my body feels depression to its extreme levels, and medication isn’t helping me at all anymore. i just feel like i am having an out of body experience and i’m screaming to transition into another space. and that means a variety of things. it sounds easier to tackle than it is, however. some people can just pull it together, whereas i’m a broken down doll, rendered useless in regards to what is going to be happening. and i can’t explain it to anyone / it’s hard to explain / it doesn’t make sense all the time and i feel odd sharing it and feel like my brain is starting to shut down.

i’m trying to find my way back to myself.