What a feeling it evokes. It sounds lofty…but it doesn’t have to be. It is a high that doesn’t even match losing your virginity…graduating from college (even though that’s pretty fucking monumental in its own right)…I could go on. It just makes you feel this vibration through your body that feels like you aren’t even yourself. You feel like you’ve reached the boss level of your life, and you can’t be bothered by the bullshit. Simply. Fuck whoever has anything to say, because your shields are up and shit just rolls off your shoulders different these days. At least, I can speak for myself and let me tell you…it just HITS DIFFERENTLY FAM. I advise you to invest in yourself and not giving a shit about the irrelevant shit honestly. It doesn’t serve you anymore. It is time to let go of the things that really don’t give you joy. That doesn’t help you actually progress and in turn actually contributes to your regression in a sense – not completely, however. It depends on what you do when you confront those feelings honestly. You deal with them, move through them, and then what do you do? Continue the cycle?

Or break the chains?

And start over again on your own terms? Shackle-free? Have you ever imagined what it would feel like to not be a slave to what doesn’t serve you? How would you feel? What would you be doing if you were just living freely?

When you choose to make that decision to let go of what has been holding you back from functioning at your higher self, you’re choosing life and wealth in a variety of ways. The wealth of knowing who you are and that knowledge of your most authentic self is a priceless gift to uncover. Allowing yourself to become free from the things that don’t deserve your time is a practice that takes a while to get to, but when you finally arrive…it’s worth it.

Put it into perspective in the grand scheme of things. What does something that plagues your emotions on a regular basis do for you? Other than continually put you in a space of frustration and regret…resentfulness…un lugar de que se siente como rebelde. Then you pass that toxicity onto others, and …no one wants your shit, ma. So fix it, hold what has to be done, and get your ducks in order. The moon is calling you to focus on what’s necessary. Get to where you need to be. It’s time to tighten up.

I say that with the utmost love. Because you don’t even realize what lies on the other side of this for you. You have no idea what joy and happiness you can finally experience. Come along and drink the ginger ale. It’s delicious!

Amen. Asé.



Sitting back, fighting the wave of grief that is bound to hit is one of the worst feelings. You know that they exist, but you can’t do anything to eradicate them fully from your being. The cycle is so stupid and regular, I can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous it is that I have submitted myself to this for at least 5 years.

Sunday rolls around. I wake up and realize that it’s the last day of freedom that I have before submitting myself back to the fire and the flame. What is the fire and the flame? WORK. Work is literally the bane of my existence at times. I honestly believe that I was put on earth NOT to work, but to heal. And healing doesn’t feel like work. It just feels like life. Here I am on this Sunday, clearer than I ever have been before about the toxic cycle that I have perpetuated in my life. The butterflies start to hit around 5 PM, because I know that the day is almost over and I’m going to have to return back to normal life, which kills me. Have you ever been somewhere or felt something negative so strongly that your body has a visceral reaction? That’s how I feel when it comes to getting up on a Monday morning to go deal with personalities, people, and situations that drain the daylights out of me. At one point after work, all I could muster up was the energy to get home and sleep. No creativity coursed through my veins. No energy towards doing something productive was even a question. All that was prescribed was a nap. As time has gotten along, the naps have just become replaced with sickness. They’ve become replaced with throwing up, being overwhelmed and agitated because of a trigger that may have been tripped over earlier that day, or just being completely out of it that I cannot move. And this isn’t the first year…this is year five.

As one can imagine, the body has begun to revolt in regards to not wanting to do the work. Like, it can’t even fake it anymore which is really unfortunate because I’m the one that has to endure the daily pain. Wondering how I am going to make it out of bed. Being in such bad shape until about noon, and then feeling pressure to get things done and not being able to focus. It’s like all sense of self is lost at times, and the collision between the person that used to be able to do this and survive compared to the person now who has no time for the bullshit…it’s like night and day. They don’t know each other anymore. The real person has surfaced, and it doesn’t want to go back to who it was before. It enjoys where it’s at, and it doesn’t want to change that for anyone. And I like that…I value that…I appreciate that. Stepping into your truth can be one of the scariest things to do, but once you start ascending to that level of truth, it becomes a wrap for anything that doesn’t serve your greater good. I’ve been learning this the hardest way and also realizing the strength of self that I carry to have the desire to make a difference. Congratulations to you if you’re here also – you know what your value is and what is going to work for you and what isn’t. Owning the truth can be a daunting task at times…but when you finally step into that realm of reality and don’t apologize for being yourself…… can’t turn back. Like at all. It’s a wrap – just get used to it. LOL. This is the space that I am inhabiting and I am not ashamed to take up space anymore. Move into a place of owning your space and not letting anyone tell you differently about how you should be moving. You are the author of that, and allow your Universal guides to help you see what is going to work for you in the long run.

But now here I am, thinking about what is next. What is on the horizon. There is joy in these beliefs, these thoughts, these desires for life changes…but there is also always going to be something on the back-end that you have to deal with. When you stop worrying about what is going to happen and just leap, that’s when you’re taken care of. I’m grateful to God and my Spirit guides for always keeping me covered when I’ve jumped before. All I ask now is that it continues to be as such and I don’t feel shame in any of the jumps that I make. I don’t….but I want to make sure that I land in the right place overall. I know everything is a process. But getting out of the toxic situation is the first step. It’s like leaving an abusive husband because you know him well and you know his quirks, how he moves, what to expect…….but knowing that you are tired of being hurt physically, emotionally, spiritually……..and I am ready to escape. Just like J-Lo in that movie. It’s time for me to whoop ass and get the fuck. You heard?

I welcome positive life changes into my life and into the lives of those reading. I welcome new careers, opportunities, and abundance for anyone reading this. I claim strength in any and every situation.

New things are on the horizon. The energy is making people want to buckle down. Get with it and find where you’re supposed to be. It’ll be worth it.

Amen. Asé.


late night tip.

taking time to rest and rejuvenate is healthy for the soul, child. the step back always gives you the opportunity to process things that have been going on in your life and really think through things that you never really would have had the opportunity to. those processes are something is so deep, personal & internal that it is going to look different and affect each person at different stages in their lives differently. a mouthful, hoe. as i have had a lot of time to really be focused on myself (mainly because i suffer from a chronic stomach illness on a regular basis and it’s frustrating to deal with) i have been really trudging through some shit that i never thought i would have to, or just wasn’t expecting to hit me from left field the way that it did. but that’s completely fine, because if you stay ready, you don’t ever have to get ready.

do you know how important it is to tackle things head on when shit comes your way? putting things off to the wayside (unless it is a student loan payment or some other shit that is just plaguing you in a way that it doesn’t get off your back – i’m speaking for myself here people) just exacerbates the problem and elongates the amount of time it takes before you get to fix it. and no one wants something hanging over their head for a long time. because the longer that it does, the more that it annoys you and the more that you become frustrated completely when things don’t fall in line the way that it is supposed to. what i have learned is that allowing Spirit to guide the conversation, your thoughts, your actions … and allow that to be what kinda leads is what has allowed me so much more clarity as time has passed on. i think that with this release of control in some aspect, it allows me to open up in other ways and let things happen.

that’s the beauty of letting go. i think that letting go is going to always be beneficial for you because it allows you to have other stuff come in. (why did i throw away that freaking panda express today smh something just said to and i guess it just wasn’t going to be good for my stomach smh that’s how i just be letting go…of food. my mother would kill me if she knew that shit lmfaooo)



now, let’s take it elsewhere. who wanna travel? i fucking do. i have been having wanderlust like a bitch or just imaginary wanderlust because i am so ready to blow this popstand, it’s not even funny. i be sitting here like bixch really why am i stuck in this bed in the middle of new york? something is going to change and i have faith that things will fall in place soon – i deserve and i been talking about this for years. i will manifest it. just believe. you can do the same. we all have those powers. it only benefits you if you trust what can happen for you. and most people are always questioning shit and that’s half the issue. let go. relinquish. take your time and do what you know is going to be best for you and your greater good. and don’t apologize for it either dammit. you doing you hoe.


amen. asé.



When you take life by the reins in the manner that you desire, the outcome really does do something to you.

I want to start this off by a post from ScorpioMystique [check her website out – she is amazing and is always on point and follow her on social media!!!! she’s such a sweetheart!] and something I just re-read (I always read her weekly forecasts for Scorpios when they drop) and it just shook me for some reason.

…it’s best to simply keep it real and let yourself feel a bit wild and all over the place. Write, draw, sing, dance, cry, vent, meditate, make love, recreate your look, send a sext… Don’t limit yourself from expressing what’s on your heart, but also know when you need to direct all that passion towards yourself. Taking yourself out on a date, dressing up for yourself, touching yourself… It’s all a possibility for you, especially as the sex sign of the zodiac. Be your own lover and then watch how everyone else reacts. … With Uranus, the Planet of Surprise in your partnership sector until 2026, you’re at the beginning of a major sexual and romantic reawakening. The more you own your sex appeal and your strong romantic urges, the better your love life becomes. Gift yourself the right to be a fully liberated being, Scorpio. Rise from your ashes like the Phoenix that you are.

It has been a weird couple of days since this New Moon has hit. In my last post, I was practically begging to have dick appear in my life like a thief in the night in some capacity. And you know what? …I’m not gonna get into that, but let’s just say that manifestations are real and the mentality of abundance is real if you tap into it. You have to just trust what’s unseen and allow yourself to truly feel what’s arising in your spirit when it comes. I’ve been working on learning not to question everything, as I normally would. I just end up consulting with self for a hot second and letting the chips fall where they may. I have realized that my desire to have the answer to everything can be toxic at times, and I have to learn how to balance that better. I am learning how to allow my emotions to live and breathe like other human beings do.

We are taught to suppress our emotions in certain situations. Certain settings. Certain environments. I know there is proper etiquette in certain environments and whatnot, but come on. I feel like the exposure that we have to REACTIONS to certain emotional responses is what has created a society where we are not functioning at our best capacity because we are bogged down with the idea of someone else’s thought patterns affecting how we move. Fuck that, bro. I’m tired of that old outdated pattern. I’m all about following the intuition that is put inside of us that lets us know what actually feels right, and is at the same time morally right for our own being.

The way I look at it, sometimes people do things just for show. Everyone is fucking begging to be seen. And they will do whatever it takes to ensure that they have an ‘impact’, whether or not the impact is actually the type of impact that they’re going for. How long have you been shooting in the gym? Are you putting your people on, or are you just being selfish about your glow & flow? Everyone – we have to remember that it’s important to just let people be, and just support and clap for our niggas. And even those that always aren’t the most vocal about supporting us, or even hate us in a sense. Just stay in your lane right now and know that you’re being carried along the way. It’s about trusting in the unseen and knowing that you’re being supported even when you’re not being publicly praised.

This awakening (or reinforcement & reawakening) of this mindset has been so strong for me lately. Petty mindless bullshit is such a vibration that is not what I want to go for right now. I’ve been just kind of stepping into things that I have been ashamed of or talking about things that I have kept hidden for quite some time. It’s like the shadow is going away and the true light is starting to reveal itself, and GOSHDANGIT it is BRIGHT. It comes in waves and the beauty of it is that it stays with you. The light always peaks out in the darkness, and it always had. Nowadays, it’s just feeling like the sun is actually eclipsing over the moon just a bit to find that perfect balance of both, and I’m grateful for that. Living life like it’s golden, doing things the way that I want to, and just making do with what I can in the moment. If we lived like that more often, we would be happier people on a regular basis – guaranteed. Instead of being a prude, thinking about what others are going to say (we are our biggest critics, first off, and then are also hyper-aware of the feelings of others at times) I have come to the conclusion that the lie detector test determined that everyone’s opinion mattering is a lie. I’m not worried about you! It’s this state of finding peace within self to allow your own truths to prevail. That’s what keeps you afloat and keeps your light shining for the world to see.

As long as you stay true to form and don’t let anything else get in your way, you’re good. Right now, Jupiter is in Retrograde and it speaks about the amount of abundance that is at our fingertips right now. Of course most people think retrogrades are bad, but I’m having a good feeling about the fire of this one. The Sagittarius fire of this retrograde is going to test whether or not you allow change into your life willingly, or if you are going to crumble when actually pushed into what you ask for. Let’s be real, you’re about to be tested. Saddle up.

I know and declare freely that I’m up for any challenge right now, because any challenge helps me grow. Adapt the same mindset and instead of being fixed, become more malleable and allow the winds of life to take you wherever. You’re refining what works for you and what doesn’t in the current moment. And it’s not going to always be pretty, but being receptive is half the battle. When you learn to receive whatever comes your way and then be able to truly sift through what doesn’t serve you, then you will have mastered what’s necessary to continue to ascend to where you want to be. I’m rooting for you. We’re all rooting for you.

Amen. Asé.

P.S. Go get you some.

[don’t] fuck me passionately. [please]

it’s late night, so that means you’re gonna get it straight. as human beings, we all want to feel loved. and sometimes, we just want to be wrecked. 

what do i mean by wrecked? sometimes, you just want to get pounded out like it’s nothing and you don’t want anyone to question why you got this big ass grin across your face at work when you arrive on monday. or when you come back from your ‘baecation’ abroad in tuscany and you know you had some really freaky shit happen while you were away. or maybe you didn’t have some freaky shit happen, but you still were able to get you a piece of what you needed in order to fulfill that sexual tank.

now, i can’t say i’m on the spectrum of sitting over here trying to get wrecked…however! a nigga’s sexual inclinations are low. my sex tank on E and no drinks are on me, my nigga. you feel me? i had this conversation on twitter before – i honestly have felt more comfortable just masturbating than engaging in sexual acts for quite some time. why do you ask? …..

..i still really don’t know the complete answer to the question, but if I was going to take a stab at it, I would say this. It’s a mixture of clearing out the last little bit of trauma that I have around being gay, my parents not accepting it, and knowing that I love me a fat ass on a man, a nice pair of thighs and a decent size dick (y’all can have those uncut ones – i’m sorry, i’m not a fan of the anteater no tea no shade)…being assaulted by men three times and having a hard time dealing with the aftermath of those traumatic experiences with men and always having this visceral reaction that i’m being taken advantage of…and that i just feel like really stepping into my sexuality is something i am not necessarily afraid of doing. however – i truly still haven’t uncovered HIM safely and in a manner that makes me feel like i own that man, not someone else.

and what does THAT mean? i haven’t been in a situation where someone has allowed me to be able to find that deep-rooted sexual being that is on a high vibration as my soul intertwines with his;… as the thrust of my energy enters his and connects us in a bout of passion, magic, and fervor that connects us on a level that’s out of this world. i hung up my ho belt after i pretty much turned 25. that got tiring after basically “sleeping around” morehouse (and i use that term loosely because i truly was just exploring myself without having to worry about my nagging ass parents breathing down my neck) and getting my everlasting life when i could. i mean, i wasn’t having sex like that in high school like everyone else was and is these days. i did lose my virginity in a threesome*, but that’s another time for another day.

*(yes, i was the tippity top top, for those that were wondering. thirsty.)

but yeah, that hopping on the elusive ‘apps’ in order to get my life one evening is just something i can’t get with. to keep it real, i would rather fuck a twitter nigga or an instagram nigga than a jack’d nigga any day of the week. at least i can attempt to get my FBI skills on through those apps and really get a picture of the type of energy i’m dealing with. jack’d just really has always been a dark hole for me (and i’m not bashing jack’d – it’s just not my cup of tea) nor are the other ‘apps’ because i’m not the type of person that can just get his rocks off with a random anymore. that cycle normally becomes…

“get horny –> consider downloading app (only jack’d or grindr because all that other extra shit has the same niggas on it) –> get it and have it for all of 4 hours and see if anyone takes bait and gives me attention –> sets up an appointment or makes it seem like i’m trying to allure someone –> delete the app because i snap to my senses the next morning after i realize that i wasn’t ever leaving my fucking house to waste my time with a nigga from the apps”


now, i know you guys are probably thinking ‘didn’t this nigga just have a boyfriend‘? ‘they didn’t have sex‘?

one – that’s none of your business.
two – that’s none of your business.
three – i’m still due some ass. or some dick. whatever i’m feeling that fucking day. and i’m going to leave it at that. 

Aries New Moon energy has hit my ass like a fucking wave. a wrecking ball if you will, right into my groin, awakening it after lying dormant for so long. it’s like my dick just started to finally re-attach to my whole body and be a thing that wants to be used for other people lmao. you know, depression medication (at least the one i’m on sadly) actually takes away your sex drive. so that + me already not being the most ~open~ person to sex all the time (i’m really the type of nigga where i gotta get to know you for some time and get close to you before i have you breathing up in my face all over me and shit and trying to kiss me…i’m the type to mush a nigga in they face and tell them to back the fuck up with the quickness…I am a Scorpio but I digress G) makes this whole journey just different & difficult for a complex motherfucka like me.

simply put, i wanna get in some guts. i don’t know about that ‘getting in my guts’ thing, but if the right nigga comes along (if you’re above 5’11” and weigh at least 190-200 pounds, you can holla at me and i’ll see if i’m feeling your vibe enough to enter the kingdom of gurry~*~**~*~*~*~~) then i mean, who fucking knows.

i’m 29-years old. i can do and say what the fuck i want.

eye want some mouf on my shit. and that’s that.

and i know you probably are sitting here reading this like ‘what is this nigga going through?’ but you know that you probably felt your loins jump at some point throughout this, because you’re overdue for a tune-up. and i just let it all hang out for once…so take it while you can get it because this powerful sexual being doesn’t show up that often. i’m merging into that person i see myself being and actually being able to enjoy those acts instead of being caught in the past. i’ve been doing a lot of cord cutting with that shit, and i refuse to let it hold me back from the shit that i actually wanna do…which is sometimes be a gutterbutt slut. xox.

but before i even dip out, i gotta just say that make sure that you have sex that is safe for you in whatever regard that means, and don’t do anything to try and make someone else feel good about what you trying to give them OR mislead them and do them dirty in ways that are irreversible. take care of yourself and your heart. a word of advice:


Protect your heart. Protect your energy. Get some dick. Or some pussy. Or get you a good toy pounding. Try whatever the fuck you want out. I implore you to explore right now.

And uh….yeah, if you read this and …*loses service*

Amen. Asé.