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Firm ‘n’ Fishy [FIRM FOUNDATION + UNDINES AND MERMAIDS]

So, this week is winter break for most teachers and let me tell you, i have just have to thank the Ancestors for this additional time off (that i’m getting paid for + i am not out on disability because of having a mental breakdown YAY!) because it’s great to just be able to live like a regular human. I actually am enjoying getting back to being able to write and update with general writing and stuff because my spirit can handle it. when you’re in a space that takes your energy away, getting ANYTHING out is difficult and i’m a firm believer in following the energy. anyways, as mentioned before, I had been getting requests to start writing about my tarot and oracle card pulls. well, i’ll show you what both of them were for the day and then we can talk more about what i’m getting from them personally.

Today’s Oracle Card was the Physical card Firm Foundation with the #4 adorned at the top, and the Tarot pull of the day was Undines and Mermaids from my Tarot of the Orishas deck.

As we see in regards to Firm Foundations, we see that the card is outlined in red, and there is a mountain that is in front of this strong strapping black man. There is a huge red triangle is highlighting his lower back, which I attribute to the root chakra being highlighted here. You may not be able to see it on the card, but the triangle is actually outlined in various colors, like a rainbow of colors. This man is standing in front of this majestic mountain and he’s not looking at it head on but standing looking off to the side a bit as it seems as though he’s pondering what endeavor he is about to take on. There are also what looks like archways in the foreground, which can mean that it’s going to take a while for him to walk and climb that mountain, but it’s still in his sights.

All of this makes me think that it is important that we focus on keeping ourselves grounded as we have come into this new super powerful energy. We are going to be feeling extra full of ourselves when it comes to taking on new endeavors and ambitions, but we have to remember that we cannot get derailed along the journey. What I see this mountain represents is what’s out in the distance is finally able to be materialized. It’s tangible. For me personally, I’ve been trying to ‘figure it out’ in regards to what is supposed to be coming next for me, but I am feeling like it’s all starting to come together and I have to have faith that I will get there and climb that mountain. The number 4 is related to structure, foundation, stable situations, and planning. This means that with proper planning, having some sort of valuable structure, and ensuring that you think of all possible outcomes and necessary things before you begin your journey, you’ll be good to go. Just don’t get knocked off your feet whether you’re on the ground or up in the air. I also rolled a nice lucky 7 for my own personal dice divination this morning, so I think that what I’m saying is hitting on SUM.

As long as you make sure that you have good judgment and lay down the framework as best as possible when it comes to whatever endeavor, you will be able to build security for yourself in the future. Just keep in mind that good actions come with good rewards and questionable actions come with questionable results. Don’t take advantage of people or situations for the negative – be a sponge, be open, and be receptive to what’s out there to help you set the yams out properly for a win. Also, it’s important that you give back to those that help you along the way – those folks that ground you are going to be important as you move forward on this path. Reach out to the friends and family that keep you spiritually fed, and allow them to see the beauty you are working on. Allow their suggestions to hold some weight and remember that you are forever learning. This is what will help you achieve greatness.

Now, along with my tarot card pull, this is interesting. Before I continue, I just want to say that most days, I’m just pulling for myself but then am able to share my experiences and thoughts and hope that it’s able to touch you. That’s all – I hope something hits on something for you. With Undines and Mermaids, we see a beautiful mermaid underwater holding onto what looks like two seashells. She is PERCHT underneath the sea as the fish and all the beauty of the ocean surrounds her. Mermaids deal with love, and this card has to deal with those that are in the field of communication…whether it be written, visual or oral. It means that you will be finding a tribe of some sort soon to help you get your voice out there the way that you want to. It comes to people who put in the time to get to their level of expertise: doctors, masseurs, reporters, art critics, etc. The idea is that people who use the method of communication are those that are going to be feeling a boost of energy today. I am feeling that the beauty that you possess inside is meant to be shared on the outside without worry for judgment. We all tend to be concerned with what others think or will say about what we share with the public, and if you have something on your chest you want to get off, feel comfortable enough to divulge what’s tea so that way, others can get on board with your message and support you the way you need + allow you to become that much more real with yourself and ingrained in the world around you. It also will help you discern who is down for the ride in your life and who isn’t able to see your beauty.

All in all, the TL;DR version: Discern who are the people in your life that will help you allow your voice to be heard the way you want it to be heard, and remember that having a strong foundation and plan to achieve your dreams is the only way for progress to happen. You can’t sprint towards your goals; ease on into them like a dick in a butt.

I hope this spoke to you in some way.

Amen. Asé.

-gg

excavation.

the art of letting go…why is it so much more difficult than what we give it credit for? fear is sometimes so paralyzing that it hinders us from actually getting and acquiring what we deserve. it stops us from moving forward down the path that we know is correct. i know for me, if fear wasn’t a factor?…i would not be in the same space at this very moment in time if i could just tell fear to move out the way.

the thing is…we have to learn to dance with our fears in order to allow them to pass us off towards our dreams. we have to confront those things that scare us the most because most of the time, they mainly are the things we need in order to be more in sync with what is important for us to grow and actually acquire what is written for us. even if we go ahead, face fears and confront them and don’t get the result we were hoping for, that’s still okay…because there’s a lesson within that. i have heard this SO MANY TIMES but to actually live it, breathe it, and follow through with it? sis. you’re trying the doll.

i’ve touched on fear in previous posts before, but this time i want to acknowledge the importance of my own personal fears and what i am working on to get over. and the mental effort it takes. it’s a practice. a continual practice. it’s a level of vulnerability you have to possess in order to loose yourself from what worries you. the reason being every single piece of the wall has to come down brick by brick.

my therapists are getting good money because the quote one gave me has been sticking with me. i realize a lot of times that i am so impatient and quick to want change to transpire. but don’t we all? it’s the consistent effort towards lowering the wall that allows you to get closer to what is needed for your success. this comes in relationships, jobs, dreams, you name it. every time you acknowledge what boundary you have created in your mind exists, it is your job to remove that brick. a lot of the work i’ve been doing is around those core beliefs that we have, and the branches from the tree of said core belief that jack us up. i’m working on (and encouraging you) to look at what the trunk of the tree is saying and rooted in, and why the branches exist. try and cut down each of those branches bit by bit, day by day in order to get closer to the root of the issue and remove the tree from the soil that is your negative mindset.

when i did this exercise, one of the core beliefs i had derived from this:

“I desire to be perfect.”

perfection in my eyes has always been defined as life is together, job is together, mental health is together, financially thriving, moving up the work ladder, and friendships and social life is intact, without anyone batting an eye at what you are doing and you are assumed to be having a good time (and actually are having a good time with life), with no complaints. People can see you and you’re always giving your best and beyond, and you can be relied on in a pinch for anyone at any time. I wanted to have that be my life because I never want people to question my worth. I never wanted people to question if I could handle something because I’m always the one people could come to for anything. And that would be what made me think I was “doing the right thing”.

I had to realize how unrealistic that was, and how toxic of a belief that was. I can’t be there for everyone always. I have to be there for myself. every day I have struggles sometimes just to get out of bed. I constantly wake up sometimes with nausea because my anxiety is so bad. The medication doesn’t even help me anymore. Meditating doesn’t work all the time as much as I may try it because I can’t quiet my thoughts or sit still long enough to focus on what’s going on in my spirit. My mind is racing constantly about all of the things I need to do, how I feel, the little bits and pieces of life that are affecting my mind…etc. And…I have to realize how okay that is. I am learning to lovingly acknowledge that, treat myself with care, and put myself first in a way that I never really did growing up. That idea of perfection is so subjective, and as long as I am perfect for myself, I’m good. And not even perfect…as long as I’m good, I’m good. I’m not there yet, but I’m slowly but surely getting there, and any effort I can put forward is better than before.

I always believed by now, certain things would be in place, but the journey of life leads you down different paths so that way you can appreciate the growth it took to get to what you wanted. I mean, if you didn’t work for it, you don’t appreciate it as much. I have a lot of work to do still on self, beliefs, and also just finding myself and the truth as to what I am here to do. yes, i’m smart. yes, i’m able to be on tv if i want to be. yes, i can be a best-selling author. yes, i can be a trained healer. I also need to remember to not be lazy and with the same fervor I had when I was an academic seek out the opportunities that are going to be pleasing towards my soul and allow me the space to expand the way I need. my life is about expansion currently, and I want to continue on with that. My well-being is most important, and I also want to make that a priority.

as Michelle from Auric, someone I had the honor of getting a bit of coaching by said on her Twitter (you should totally get services done by her!!!!):

Screen Shot 2019-02-20 at 2.58.01 PM

I will be successful and happy by being who I am, not giving a shit what others have to say about my performance, my being, my status, and what I bring to the table. I remember that I am a magical being that is here for a reason and will continue to not strive for perfection but strive for goodness. Fear is not here to hold me back but push me forward.

you should do the same.

Amen. Asé.

-gg

harmonious harvests. [6 – HARMONY]

Today marks the Full Moon in Virgo, which also happens to be the first and only Supermoon of the year. This moon is called the “Snow Moon” because it represented when the heaviest snow would fall during the time Native Americans inhabited the land. It’s said that this transit is happening while we are transitioning into Pisces season, which is the closing of doors in regards to the zodiac cycle. The Full Moon, which typically is connected to release, is asking you to take a step back from everything, assess how far you come, let go of what doesn’t serve you still (the shit that you know is sitting in your face that you’re ignoring) and step into your authority. We all have been experiencing a lot of back and forth when it comes to making decisions on what we want and deserve, and this Super Moon is telling us to take what is ours and make it our bitch. When you detach yourself from things so heavily, take an objective step back and assess, and come back…that’s when you’re able to make the best decisions and that is what this Super Moon is asking you to do.

These days, I’ve been in the business of trying to figure out what my next move is going to be. I know that I have been outgrowing a lot of things in my life: people, places, situations, lifestyles…and I’ve been feeling like there’s a breakthrough on the horizon. This aligns quite perfectly with what the Cosmos are telling us to pay attention to, and I’ve been allowing my intuition to lead more than ever these days. This is important because we are celestial beings beyond anything else, and our spirits know what is going to be best for us in order to function at our highest level of good. I’ve been questioning a lot in life lately – there’s been quite a lot of reason for me to do that. I’m at an age where everything is like coming with a consequence, and I want to ensure that whatever decisions I make are going to benefit me in the long run.

With this Super Moon we are experiencing today (10:53 AM is the time I believe that the Full Moon actually hits), it’s going to make us move forward, excavating the fears that we possess at our core to ensure that we don’t worry about what’s coming forward. We can tend to overthink things (I’m the prime example of a bitch that does that), and what you are being asked to do right now more than ever is trust your gut and trust your instincts as to where they are trying to lead you. Don’t let your fears overrun your decisions, and lead with the truth.

Today as I was doing my morning pull, I came across the Harmony card. I wanted to share it because lately, I have been working on keeping the consistency in my pulling and people have been wanting me to share more of my pulls, so anyways, lemme go ahead and explain what this Harmony card is bringing up for me. IMG_1146

The Harmony card, as you can see, has two people that seem as though they are joining forces. It’s a Major Arcana card, and the number 6 (represents appreciation, self-sacrifice, loyalty, responsibility) is at the top. I look at this as the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine coming together to find peace in their situation. Surrounding them are flowers, which identifies their connection to the overall being that is Nature and when the two are able to combine, there is a Light that appears between them. What I interpret this to be is searching for those parts of yourself that you are attempting to bring to the forefront and make those prevalent, while also appreciating those parts of yourself that you may feel overrun you for the worse. Remember that life is a balance and when you are able to find true harmony in any situation, joy is right around the corner. Allowing the pieces of yourself that you want to shine come to the surface is what is the main focus for you during this time frame, and the Light will appear when you find harmony in all that you’re working towards.

The card signifies that there is a possibility that there will be some deep spiritual initiation, partnership, or union that manifests itself currently or in the future. Don’t think of it just as a love affair; it can appear as a variety of things. Remember that all partnerships are valuable and that you need to ask yourself if these partnerships in your life are bringing to you what you need in order to feel grounded. Every person is a mirror reflection of you, and at this time you need to truly focus on ensuring that you are making the proper choices in your relationships and loosing yourself of those people and places that don’t support your inner space. Every person you encounter is made to teach you something, and when the course that they offer is up, lovingly let them go. Some folks are made to be life-long subscribers, as they bring harmonious pleasures to your life. Take some time today to distinguish who brings you peace, who doesn’t, and whether or not your ‘places & spaces’ empower and encourage you to be all that you can be. If they are not doing that, lovingly release them and spend some time today taking inventory on what needs to be purged in order for you to allow Harmony to be your barometer.

Otherwise, personally…I have high hopes for whatever is to come. The thing about life is whenever you have lows, the only way to go is up. I trust that no matter what comes my way, I’ll be able to use the wisdom that I carry in order to grow. I encourage you to use your wisdom to make sense of things during this Full Moon season, and release that which does not serve you. Also, start to manifest the New Beginnings you want to see in your life, and allow those to be where you start sending your energy. It’ll benefit you in the long run in so many ways, and you’ll have the starting points for the blueprint that you’re creating, or already have started to draw up.  The future awaits.

.Amen. Asé.

-gg

lo kiero

late in the midnight hour, i come to you humbly spouting whatever comes to the forefront. do you know how difficult it is at times to put yourself first? i know some people grew up being able to do that, because that’s just what they were taught. some people are wired to just be selfish (which can err on the side of being rude, but ost times it’s self-preservation and we all gotta look out for self first). i know for me though, that has been one of the most difficult things to do – remember who comes first. me.

i’ve spent a good portion of my life always considering the feelings of others, mainly because i try and keep in mind how i want to be treated. my actions always reflect what type of energy i’m trying to put out there and what i want to receive back. i’m noticing now, more than ever, how it is important to make sure that you are nurturing an environment and a reality that is fitting of what you truly want…not what you think is going to make another person happy with you. that’s where bitches get caught up, and i’m just not satisfied.

i’m on the onset right now of what we get during the school year called ‘winter break’, which is a week of me being able to be home. what’s crazy is i don’t know how vacation time works in other arenas/careers because i’ve never done anything except education. i’m prayerful that in the near future, i can start to see that transition into a different realm…but i know that is going to take a good bit of me figuring that out and putting in constant effort towards whatever that looks like. but you know how it is when you have so many things floating inside your brain in regards to where you think you want to be? or the things that you think you may be interested in? honestly, i feel like i’m 7 years old right now and my parents are asking me about the extracurricular activity i’m going to participate in so it makes me a well-rounded student or some shit. but on the real, i know that it is time to transition into something overall. my body has developed. my mind. my spirit. my desires. they can’t be bound by worlds that i’ve outgrown. and i refuse to hold myself back anymore and allow my light to be dim for the benefit of others or the benefit of complacency. the gift of complacency develops the presence of stagnancy. i refuse to just be stuck because my body cannot thrive in the space that it is in. have you ever felt like a plant that was just too big for the pot that you were put in? i feel like in the four years that i have been in NYC…well, four and a half at this point, i’ve done so much growing that the things i used to think were important are so far off my radar, it isn’t funny.

now, the most important thing is getting back to myself and being happy with the soul that inhabits this body. i’m working towards allowing my inside and my external to mesh into one being that truly feels comfortable with the space they are taking up in this galaxy. i’ve been diminishing that for way too long, and i’m starting to revv up towards another path. i just ask that whatever Spirit has in store for me and the Universe is conspiring to lead me towards…that it takes care of me and helps me to grow the best way possible to get towards my true path in life.

i do hope, know, feel, that this week…i’m going to start getting closer to what that shit looks like for me in regards to new endeavors. just the mind shift is what needs to be the first step…and then we will see from there.

i encourage you to start making the transition in your mind to higher heights. they await you.

amen; asé.

-gg

russian doll.

silence surrounds me. i’m trying to find myself again. suspended in space. lost. black. darkness. the stars are still visible trying to direct me where to go, but i can’t read them. i feel like i don’t understand the language and i didn’t properly prepare for this at the moment. i’m just moving with the motions and it’s not making sense. my body feels depression to its extreme levels, and medication isn’t helping me at all anymore. i just feel like i am having an out of body experience and i’m screaming to transition into another space. and that means a variety of things. it sounds easier to tackle than it is, however. some people can just pull it together, whereas i’m a broken down doll, rendered useless in regards to what is going to be happening. and i can’t explain it to anyone / it’s hard to explain / it doesn’t make sense all the time and i feel odd sharing it and feel like my brain is starting to shut down.

i’m trying to find my way back to myself.