Runaway

“A better future can be imagined for segments of time, but it is only in this time that a better future can be built.” – Brendon Burchard

When it comes to examining what is happening in your life, do you face challenges head on or do you tend to run away from them? Have you been in a space of daydreaming so much about what is going to happen in your future that you haven’t taken a bit of time to be present figure out what is happening right around you? Are you present? *knocks on your head*

I ask all these questions because it’s natural to have an aversion to really digging deep into certain challenges. We all have lives that have had some sort of experience with pain, trauma, unhappiness, or misalignment. These experiences have the ability to hinder us from pushing forward in times that are necessary for us to weather the storm…and this comes mainly out of in the form of fear. We think about the lives that we want to have, and want these things to come to pass without really thinking about the work that goes into it. You may not have the answer completely as to what you have a question about, but what you do know is that you have a question.

I know that I have been thinking about mind mapping things out that will help me to achieve the life that I have wanted in a way. Personally, I have been feeling somewhat outside of my own body lately. While sitting in therapy (yes, I am in therapy and therapy is good for you as much as your family may try and think that God is the only one that can fix all your problems) and was explaining how I’ve just been feeling outside of myself in terms of the things that I’m doing and not feeling complete and like I’m present in everything I do. The worst thing someone can do is go through life just for the sake of going through life without any answers or understanding as to why they do what they do and facing their challenges. He asked me to describe why I felt that way, and I struggled for a bit to explain where those feelings were coming from.

After sitting for a bit, I realized that everything that I have been doing is not aligning completely with what I want for myself, and some of the actions that I have been taking don’t necessarily feel like actions that I want to partake in. One of them is a new endeavor that requires me to be somewhere literally every night…and I have NOT been going as frequently as asked to be there. As an introvert (and also still working in education), I am completely DRAINED at the end of my workday even though it has been cut by a couple of hours. It’s also just not my cup of tea, and I’ve been having a hard time admitting that just because it works for others a certain way, I’m not everyone else and it doesn’t work out for me the same way. This isn’t me being rebellious or not ‘trying’ – this is just me being real as hell. Then, I’m supposed to be at these meetings with these strangers at times, and it really isn’t somewhere I want to be. I find it to be a challenge to be there every day in a different setting, not knowing who I am going to run into and I HATE making small talk or trying to connect to people in that space. It’s felt very inauthentic to who I am as a person and doesn’t feel like it resonates with who I am. It’s been a challenge because I have been running away from doing what is ‘suggested to me’ in order for me to gain the mental clarity that “they say” I need in order to progress in sobriety.

After that, I’ve been having this guilt about not going to the gym as I talked about trying to achieve my “forever body” a couple of posts ago, and realized that the intention behind me going to the gym was only because I was trying to prepare myself for Survivor over the summer. I also used to venture to the gym alone, and even with a friend…I don’t think I would enjoy it. It would make me feel good I went…but that was only because I know that I was paying that monthly fee and I’m glad I put that money to good use.

However, I came to the conclusion as I spoke that my journey is not like everyone else’s and the way that I feel is valid. I have realized that the way I get to the place that I want to be doesn’t have to look like how someone else has gotten there and I have to be okay with that. I have control over some things in my life (not all, which as a Scorpio is a hard thing to admit), and I should be able to manifest some form of happiness even in those challenges in a way that doesn’t have to be completely COMFORTABLE, but also shouldn’t heighten my anxiety. I have to believe that even though my journey to happiness on my own terms isn’t impossible, and I do believe that. I believe that breakthroughs are meant to come my way (and your way also) when you let down the walls of what you believe should happen, and take action towards just choosing to BE and stand in FAITH that whatever is going to come your way will come, even if it seems like a difficult challenge to face. You also have to remember that authenticity and tenacity are key.

I realized that me being in the gym was just because of me seeing others in the gym and having the bodies that I have wanted to have for such a long time. I know that that takes work, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be achieved the same way that it’s been achieved by others. I actually signed up for yoga classes this week, because that has been something that I’ve been wanting to do, and know that even though they may not have the same physical results as the gym would for those gym heads, that’s not the type of way I want to achieve the body I’m looking to have. I think about this as not running away from my challenge, but maneuvering differently around it and figuring out how to make it work for me the way I want to make it work for me.

I quoted the quote earlier because the future is able to be built in the present. I can’t just dream about it and imagine that it’s going to just come to pass. As stated before, work has to be put in in order to acquire what you desire. The way that that can be done is ever changing – it is necessary to make sure the intention behind it is pure and also soul-filling in the way that you want it to be. If you do something out of spite or feeling obligated to, chances are you will not perform it to the best of your ability or the way that you initially intended it to happen. You can’t avoid what reality is in the moment – it’s so tempting to run away and hide from what you don’t want to face. But where does that really get you in the end? Free and motivated people do not avoid reality – they face it head on and make shit crack the way they’re supposed to. It doesn’t have to always be flowers and candy and lollipops…sometimes, it’s going to be raindrops, drop tops, and hot boxes.

Okay, not really, but you get what I mean.

When you meet your challenge head-on, you find success. So instead of running away from the challenge, find a way to outsmart it and pivot so that way, you can avoid blocking your blessing and getting to the space you want to see yourself at.

Think of ways that you can go into this week facing your difficulties head-on, and then reflect on what you were able to learn from having to confront those hard situations. I bet you’ll come out on the other side with a level of wisdom that you never thought you would truly have. We’re about to exit Virgo season soon and enter Libra season, and things will start to make more sense and chill out for you. You won’t be as high strung and you’ll actually be able to enjoy life and the challenges it throws at you. You’ll be able to handle them with ease.

Just keep floating, as they say. And remember, running away from your problems never answers them. It just leaves the problems at your doormat for you to have to answer them later on down the road…and who wants to be bothered with old shit minutes, hours, days, weeks, months from now? Just go ahead, do the work, build the future you want, and stop being a little bitch about it by avoiding the things you need to do. *insert black emoji shrug here* and I say that from the most loving place ever.

Go into this week with power, and run forward instead of running away.

Amen. Asé.

-gg

You ‘Bout Dat Life?

“We must’nt let our dreams die in the daylight because we lose focus while responding to the world’s lame interests or false emergencies.” – Brendon Burchard, The Motivation Manifesto.

Happy Lionsgate Portal everyone! I hope that each of you are feeling free today, and have been able to release some of the energy that has been plaguing you recently, and have allowed love to enter your atmosphere. Before I begin talking about today’s subject that’s lying on my heart, I want to address the Lionsgate Portal.

Today’s Lionsgate Portal always happens around this time of year, and it’s mainly focused on allowing yourself to open your heart, your eyes, and feel safe with doing such. For me, I interpret it as allowing yourself to be vulnerable, so that others can be vulnerable. You’re probably in the midst of going through some really tough lessons, or rehashing prior lessons that you thought you had already moved past coming back into your spirit. Being aware of your heart chakra and third eye chakra and loving yourself and loving others is extremely important on today, and moving forward. If you haven’t already, take some time for focusing on what the idea of love is to you, and whether or not you truly love yourself and love others around you, even if they have done you wrong. We were all put on this planet in order to spread love and connect, and as social media, differences, and society naturally try to pit us against one another, I want you to take a second and focus on whether or not you are leading with love on today. It’s our job as a human race to leave this planet better than the way that we found it, and every day, with what’s going on around us, it feels harder. You, however, have the capacity to create a space for love and light, and radiate that no matter where you go. Whether that means thanking someone for their services at a restaurant, smiling at a stranger in the streets as you pass them, or just being a listening ear for a friend that really needs to vent, you can make a choice to be full of love and compassion towards another. Everyone’s journey in life is different, and everyone deserves to be showered with love no matter what is going on in your world, or theirs.

Another huge part of this portal is making sure to cover and cleanse your cerebellum chakra. I’m sure you’re like, what the hell is that? Well, it’s located on the back of your neck, right beneath your hairline. Take some time today to let warm water rinse along the back of it, use some essential oils, and massage the back of your neck and recite this mantra that I so graciously was able to learn about from Forever Conscious, a site I visit regularly when I’m trying to be spiritually fed. (Thank you guys, if you ever see my site!)

“It is safe for me to open my heart, it is safe for me to open my eye. It is safe for me to lean into all that I feel. For when I do, I find my strength, I find my truth, and I find what I’m guided to do.”

All of this transitions into the topic that I wanted to talk about, and that is motivation. The last part of the mantra I stated, about finding what you are guided to do, is directly connected to this topic of motivation and doing what you feel passionately led to do.

Today, I decided to take some time to disconnect from everything. I left my phone at home and took a walk in nature for about two hours alone, not having any distractions. It was quite the time, because I was able to just enjoy and listen to the sounds of nature and what was going on around me. I smiled at waitresses and started conversation, I ventured into new stores I hadn’t ever ventured into, and just allowed myself to go wherever my feet led me. I found myself in this really awesome store in my neighborhood where I found some really awesome essential oils, sage, and other really awesome products called Life Wellness. I found it ironic that while I was there and speaking to the cashier and checking out the products, she had checked the time on her phone and 2:22 brightly popped up. It just affirmed that I was in the right place at the right time. Whenever I see “angel numbers” or repeated numbers (11:11, 1:11, 12:34, 3:33, 5:55, 7:11), it’s a sign that I’m in tune with the Universe’s energy and I’m right where I need to be at the right time. I took some time to sit at the store and write and just think about what was going on in my life and how grateful I am to be doing some more of the things that motivate me and make me happy, such as going to that store and getting these items that helped rejuvenate my spirit.

After leaving, I wanted to take some time to sit and read. I’ve been reading this book called “The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power” by Brendon Burchard for quite some time. It’s been taking me a long time to read the book because literally every page in the book scalps me bald. It’s just such a good read and really makes me sit and reflect, even after reading 10 pages. While reading today, I came across the topic of being motivated to do things, and truly resonating in what is important to you when it comes to putting in that work towards your goals. We all have dreams and desires that we want to see come to pass, but a lot of times, we get caught up in the worry about not getting the results that we want immediately, and that slows us down in regards to the process it takes to get there. It is as if our motivation depletes because we think about the work that goes into getting what we desire, and we may think it too hard or too time consuming.

Now, I want to push your thinking a bit. If you’re really motivated to do something and you truly want something to be a part of your aura and energy, do you ever really get tired of doing what it takes to get there?

I’ll give you a personal example. I joined a gym in early July because I really have been wanting to get a nice body. What was my motivation for joining the gym? Well, I can’t sit here and fake – I see everyone and their tight bodies all over Instagram and Twitter, flaunting their booty cheeks and bodies everywhere, trying to get #summerready or have that #foreverbody, and it makes me want the same. I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for the past 7 years, and a lot of times, social media has made me feel insecure with how I look. Even when I was at my smallest, which was around 127 pounds (I’m about 5’6″) last summer, I still felt like I was imperfect and that I had things I could do better with my body. Now, I wasn’t in the best place mentally nor health wise, and was starving myself, and I lost that weight unintentionally. Now, I’ve put on weight and I’m still a bit insecure when it comes to how I look, and I joined the gym because at the time, I was motivated to get the body that I always wanted. Here’s an insider secret:

I hate the fuckin’ gym. I hate working out. Why? I just really hate sweating and it’s a commitment that you have to make that I haven’t fully invested myself in yet. I can truly own that, and I haven’t also been making it a true habit in order to go to the gym because I lack the mental focus and desire to be there every day or even every other day at this point. That’s a fault of mine, and today’s reading made me sit back and assess whether or not having a dream body was a true dream of mine, or if it was something I was doing just to please other people and myself. I definitely want to be healthier, but I have to make sure that I make it a habit to take care of myself, and remember the reason why I do what I do in order to have results. It’s all about refocusing my mind and desires, and knowing that the work that I put in will have results as long as I stay consistent and remember that the end goal will be worth it when I actually recalibrate the reason why I want to have a better body.

I want to have a better body, better eating habits, and better overall lifestyle because it’ll help me to feel more grounded as a whole: mind, body, and spirit. This is a refocus of mine that I’m working on, and I’ve lacked motivation because I haven’t grounded myself in the “why” completely. One of my dreams is to have a nice little chest for me to be able to look at in the mirror and feel good about, but I also have to remember that my body is my temple and I need to take care of it daily in order for it to be around for years to come. Refocusing my thinking is so important, and when I remember that that is the motivation, I can get in the gym and be good to go. I also have to remember that I don’t need to PUSH myself everyday while I’m at the gym. Me getting there at this point is half the battle, and every time that I’ve pushed myself to go the gym against my desire to be there, I’ve felt good after leaving because I’ve accomplished something. I hate the cheesy quote, but it’s true: “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” This forever body won’t be built in a day either, and I have to remember that consistent work towards my goal is what is the most important to gaining what I want. I also have to remember my “why”, and I have to remember to motivate myself to remember that my “why” is that I want to be around on this Earth as long as the Universe will let me be, and my Higher Power will allow me to be here. I can assist in this by making sure I’m taking care of my temple as best as possible.

I want to compare this motivation for going to the gym with another motivation of mine: up-keeping this blog and writing in it consistently.

Daily, I find so much passion in writing in this blog. I find so much joy doing this work, and having people read the posts that I write. I wake up in the morning, excited to curate something new. A passion of mine is becoming a published author, and I know that through the practice of writing daily, it’s a great way for me to get closer to my goals. I also know that I stay motivated to write daily because it’s such a beautiful release for me, and I’m motivated because I know other people potentially can get something from my writing. I do this writing for me, first and foremost, but am grateful when others can gain something from the information and vulnerability that I share that other folks may struggle to. I love the idea of human connection, and if I’m the person that can keep it real and be the light for someone else, it legitimately makes me smile and feel like I’m shining and moving in my purpose. My motivation for keeping this blog full of posts and work is simple: I have a bigger goal in mind and I know that every day is a process and it’s something that I love doing. I have a clear vision as to my “why” when it comes to writing, and this is what keeps me invested in continuing to create daily, whether it’s something huge or not. Now, if only I were able to transfer this into me wanting to go to the gym…

But wait. I can. I have the choice to do such if I remember to motivate myself and do what I can slowly but surely. I look at me getting out into the world, walking around and getting fresh air for two hours as my exercise for the day. I mean, I was sweating like a pig, and if you know me personally, you know that I barely like to leave my house in the first place. So for me, to get out of the house and do something in the streets was a push for me. Baby steps. And this is something I can transfer to getting into the gym, watching what I eat, and staying healthy.

Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to be more motivated. You can’t hope for motivation, but you have to choose an ambition to be motivated for. You have to be rooted in your why, and not get distracted by other things that take you away from doing what needs to be done. You have to make choices that sustain the desire to keep going. This may be you enlisting someone else to make sure that they help you stay on top of tasks that you truly want to do. Sometimes, looking at it on a sticky note that you put on your wall and seeing that as your motivation regularly is just as important to have as a reminder. You have to have focus on what you want to achieve, because without focus, you will lack results. This goes back to the quote that I stated at the beginning. You can’t take your eyes off your goals and wait for the “right time” to start. Every day is not promised, and I want you to remember that. But every day that you have breath in your body, it’s an opportunity for you to be able to stay motivated and allow your desires to come to fruition if you are dedicated to it.

If you’re trying to become a YouTube star, an actor, a singer, or even the CEO of your own company, you have to stay motivated to do the work and have people in your corner that can assist you in keeping yourself accountable. People always won’t be there to hold you accountable, so you have to hold yourself accountable for your actions and your motivation first. If it’s something that truly matters to you, you’ll figure out a way to make something happen every day, little by little. Motivation only feels fickle to those that aren’t attentive to their ambitions and what they desire. Sometimes, you just have to set your goals daily and visualize what you want your end goal to be. The more effort you put into visualizing and internalizing what your end goal to be, the more you are able to see it come to pass.

Take some time today to think about what you truly want out of your life and go within. Ask yourself what you want for yourself and what new goal would be meaningful for you. What gives you excitement when it comes to learning or giving, and what great adventure do you dream of? What will push me out of bed each morning? When you can tap into those things and figure out what they are, and hold yourself accountable, knowing that the path won’t be easy, the more you are going to be able to get closer to your goals. It’s all about having faith, and expecting that it will happen no matter what because day by day, you’re making things happen. You may have to ask for help, but as long as you stay persistent in your pursuits, you’ll be good to go.

Visualize your goals, and internalize what it will take for you to get yourself where you want to be. Believe in yourself that your desires will happen. I know I believe in you, if you don’t think anyone else does. Your dreams will become a reality over time as long as you see yourself gaining what you want to see at the forefront of your life. And remember that every day is a step in the right direction as long as you continue to work towards your goals. 

Maybe you should take some time to journal about some of the things that I pushed you to read about today. Fixate on a dream and believe that it will see the daylight soon. Don’t take your eyes off your goals, and continue to do what’s necessary along the way to get one step closer.

“It is the obvious equation and the ultimate secret; the deeper and longer I give attention to my ambition and passions, the more motivation I feel.”

Stay up, stay motivated, and stay connected to your “why” on today. Are you really about that life? If you are, get to work.

Amen. Asé.

-gg