A Faithful Few to Freedom. [Tarot & Oracle Pull]

Good evening friends. I know it has been a couple of days. I’ve been trying to gather my personal energy to be able to come across and share for myself, but also be vulnerable enough to express my shortcomings and how potentially we as a collective can move towards these steps to benefit from sharing a life of freedom in all aspects.

Now, I will give you my ‘gangsta gurry’ pull on what freedom is. Freedom, to me, has already directly related to the societal norms that have been placed upon you, and how you feel like you’re able to maneuver though all these situations. This has not been the easiest because or day to day lives somewhat hinder us from finding that true essence of freedom that we might be trying to attain. I know personally for myself, there are things that I do on a daily basis after starting back this school year that has not aligned towards what I have always seen myself being able to do. Parts of the reason why I haven’t taken the leap into my true destiny is out of fear, but hope toward what I can consistently learn as the days go by.

I know for me, the idea of freedom is complex. It’s been broken down by the dictionary such as, “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance of restraint’. This leads me into the question of asking you – have you uncovered your personal freedom and what that looks like?

I ask this because a lot of the times, we as humans don’t take a step back to really think about what best serves is in the long run. Yes, we all make mistakes. Yes, we may not always be our best selves, but what are those triggering factors that hinder us from getting to our primary goal. That’s half the battle. I think that freedom comes from the idea of standing your own ground, and know where energetically you belong around, and what spaces you choose to be a part of.

Since starting work back, I have been feeling so many anxious spells because I feel so out of place when it comes to making decision. I think that half of the battle, also, is the fear of how we will be received from taking that leap. A lot of that desire for freedom and free will is something instilled in everyone’s soul, but the actual call to action hinders people to live to their greatest potential. As we are nearing the Full Moon tomorrow, coming to terms about whatever in your life that doesn’t serve you and the spaces you want to infiltrate are a sign of you maturing and seeking your personal freedom and not letting anyone take that from you. This is NOT easier said than done, because we as adults and young adults feel as though we have to fit a certain mold in order to have that freedom. That all starts with you however, and setting boundaries for self in regards to what you want in your space and what you don’t. Your freedom for life comes from you making decisions that may be uncomfortable in your primary situation, but you standing our ground and owning what you need to fight on is your only saving grace. Most of us have not been doing the ground work to the extent necessary in order to gain that idea of freedom, and have been shy all our lives and don’t know how to say ‘no’. If you have faith that the path you are currently traversing doesn’t serve you, why continue to put forth effort towards something that cannot serve you in the long term. You have been giving a soul mission and you have been given the opportunity to be great- and you just have to remember that it’s always not perfect, it can be messy, but everything can fall into place if you allow it to.

My journey with freedom has been ups and downs, but I also have learned that there are things I won’t stand for as they stunt my personal growth. And I know what energy I should take in and keep on the backburner. Today, I want you all to focus on the idea of freedom, and how that would look like for you.

Some personal examples: not teaching/working with young adults that don’t understand the severity of their actions. I also find like I can’t find power in my day to day because it feels disjointed and with the additional theme of trying to give what I can to my prior gifts has been harder than ever before. I can’t blame the for happening the way that they did but I know what doesn’t serve me.

This was the first week of being back to school and I felt so out of place. I’m not teaching (period) and I mean, my free time sitting in trainings is great and all but it doesn’t fulfill my soul the way I need it to. It makes me take a step back and writing throughout this blog is one of those things that I know I need to do in order to find my personal, unadulterrated freedom. In order to figure out what freedom is, here’s a quote I got from Kyle Gray.

“Today you are encouraged to express your feelings and experiences with grace. If there’s something that you’ve been holding back from saying, now is the time to free yourself. When you share your feelings, you create space within yourself for miracles to enter. When you free yourself of a feeling, you give yourself love. When you express your feelings, you perform an act of self-love. When you honor your feelings, you hold the special place to be honored If you are unsure on how to say something to the world, just say you’re unsure of yourself. That’s okay. This is a way to dive into what feelings and freedom you are able to acquire. Have an honest conversation with yourself – let out how you truly feel. Once you have reached that deep state of honesty, hand over the reins to the Universe and allow it to lead the way. This is some step in gaining your freedom back again. No one will coddle you. No one will lift you up if they don’t feel like they can come to you and share what is necessary. Thank the Universe for supporting and surrounding you with life. You can hand the situation entirely over to you.

I say this to say – I’m still adjusting to my new role and it’s been a bitch, and coming back from Survivor and then thrown into a pool of new people, with the most extra ass trainings has been a lot and I am lacking this idea of having true freedom. I have high hopes but I’m still mad analytical and I feel like my experience would be such a great asset anywhere. Half of it is just me  owning what’s going on, sticking out as long as I can, ad then going from there. The other half makes me wanna become a tyrant and I left that life a while ago. Recognize your true feelings, and it will help you feel so good to be honest with yourself for once.

I don’t know where that would lead me to career wise or side hustle wise, but I do what I do when I an. And that’s half the battle. Expressing your emotions is an act of self love and will help you move towards your own personal freedoms. You are unique, you are one, and you will make all this come to pass. Watch.

I want you to focus on what your own personal freedom is, and start making strides and giving a big middle finger to those that don’t get it or understand your point of view on everything. Those that don’t and can’t support you emotionally and physically the way you need to are toxic in your life. Bear this in mind. Your path will illuminate itself – it’s all about you trusting that it’ll be okay no matter what.

Now, I’m going to try and do an Oracle Card pulling from my new deck written by John Holland, and then go into the Tarot Card Pull of the day before the night is over. The New Full moon is tomorrow and it will help you recognize you come out on the other side stronger and more aware for what your true calling and purpose is. You just have to let the signs of the Universe allow you to see what’s good, and you will go from there.

You have the power to create your own version of success if you block the bullshit out and go from there. Trust.




The Oracle Card I pulled for myself today was the idea of Power. The 8 at the top has to deal with the Major Arcana and the number 8 is such a number. The number 8 in dice divination is related to power, authority, strength, organization, control, and materialism. This makes me believe that you are on the path of owning your own power and running with that. As a spiritual being, you have so much power at your command. It represents all of the above listed, plus generosity, compassion, and love. In the card, we see a red background (vitality, strength, passion, temper, hard work, survival, temper, and leadership and red is used with the base chakra. You also see on the card that an older man transforms into a lion, and that’s so dope because to me, your power lies dormant inside you. You have to be the one to unlock it and let it live. Resolve issues in your life. The strength we refer to is emotional, physical, emotional, and everything that just fits the bill for a life of living in your purpose and taking a leap. This is what will help you to find your own personal freedom in a world full of hellacious things around you. Power and strength work in harmony in any situation, and it’s the opportunity to stop, body check, and ask about what are you supposed to be learning about a lesson in front of you and make the situation better. This brings you to your freedom of self. Ask yourself the question – what makes you feel that duality and also with wake up calls in your life need fine tuning so you’re in the best place ever. I just pass that wisdom on in order to for you to live in power in your daily life.


The Tarot Pull for the day is the Babalorisha inverted. He is the card of the Priest, whose hand is risen to the sky to ask for mercy and enlightenment, showing respect and waving to the Orishas, and whose other hand carries a bell in order to call on the Saints for help.

You can’t do this work towards personal freedom without having the proper grounding. Erase what doesn’t serve you in any capacity and hinders you from getting to that level of power and freedom. You have it inside you to go forth and prosper. You have the ability to erase noxious old points of view and function in the space you want if you choose to. He is high spirituality, and the more you connect to your spiritual soul, the more he is going to be able to guide you on your path to freedom. He can control the four elements of nature through force or power, and you have to reclaim your time and reclaim your power. You may not have been doing that in the sense that it makes the best sense for you, but you know what needs to be accomplished in your own life to recalibrate because the natural portions of Earth want to guide you down that path. This is conferred to by his guardian angels, and I want to you to remember that these angels surround you in all moments of the day and time if you choose to focus your energy that way. It is inverted because you have a lack of self-assurance and faith in oneself. Your materialism is prevailing, and being solely materially based doesn’t help you gain the freedom you’re looking for – you need to re-evaulate what does not serve your highest purpose and highest power in any way, and try to prevent this from happening.

Your protection is weak and impulsiveness and incoherence will lead you down a wrong path. If you have been feeling an uneasiness about something, your gut and your spirit is trying to forewarn you to get it all together and you will find that growth and freedom in your own regards. I know that I have personally been struggling with what my next step is, and honestly just feeling out of body. I spent my whole day today like…I needed a step back from people. And I needed that to recharge me to even write this today, as with my new job and all of the other things I want accomplished have not allowed me the space in order to focus on what I need to for my own happiness and my own growth. The card represents an individual who plays an important role in society, and someone who is a relevant, powerful minded, but troubled person. This links to you just not functioning into what the Orishas and your Ancestors see for you. You need to recalibrate in time for this Full Moon later today, which will help you to embrace the journey and know that it is going to serve you to your highest potential through the realm of trust. When you can rely on self, freedom comes to pass. And we all want to experience our own personal freedoms. Everyone isn’t chosen to do this, but if you feel like you can be chosen, put in the work to find your freedom and your end goal towards what will forever serve you. Don’t let your ego or selfishness get in the way, and you should be fine. …the human ego may feel moved to experience divine attributes, but only at the cost of exceeding itself and falling into disaster.

You don’t want your life to fall into disaster. Take some time to really dig through your life and figure out what doesn’t help you get to the next level as far as you being happy and adapting that idea of what freedom is. It isn’t going to make anyone else happy except for you, especially if you’re rocking in the sense that it all will be okay. I have to remind myself daily of this.

I have a gift and it’s meant to be shared. Maybe not in the capacity it is now, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t recenter myself (my theme of the week) and search for that balance. You guys got this shit if you believe that your freedom is the most important part of life growth and maturity. When you can do that, you have succeeded.

Take some time before this Full Moon to think about what journeys you want to see for yourself coming forward to manifest, and focus solely on you. As an empath, I’m so concerned for others but right now, you gotta focus on you and what is going to help serve you in the best way possible. Don’t be selfish. Don’t let your ego in the way. Follow your heart, and your freedom will eventually land you where to be. We don’t do scary hoes, so just hop into it and make it happen. You have the power and the strength on your side. Don’t forget that at all.

I hope this spoke to you, and you continue searching for your light in the sunrise, making sure that you are focusing on your own personal power.

You got this. I believe in myself and I believe in you.

Amen. Asé.


P.S. If you haven’t seen my most recent appearance on my friend Hector D’s page in regards to open relationships, give it a look and tell me what you think. Here is the link for that and you all should feel free to always tweet me (gangstaGURRY) or hit me on IG (__sobredosis) in order to share your thoughts.

I send you all into the new week focusing on your freedom. Write it out. You are supported, even through the ups and downs. Just remember that you are the author of this along with your spiritual guides and the Angels surrounding you. The Ancestors never want to see you fail, so continue to fight.

Also, if you want a tarot card reading from a friend that posts daily, visit this page that responds to the Leo Full Moon and how you should be focusing your energy, and if you would like a new reading from me, comment on my Contact page and I got you.

I have a Twitter follower named Ismadid Seylin (@sideeyespecial) that focuses on the Leo New Moon and there’s a thread he pulled in regards to where you should be focusing your energy. It spoke to me.

Tarot Pull – 8.7.18 – The Outcast

Buenos días. I send lots of love and light and comfort to each person taking the time to read today’s post. I also send a lot of power. This week, energetically, has a lot going on in the cosmos. Tomorrow is the opening of the Lionsgate Portal, which is going to bring about a lot of energy that helps you to tap into your empathic energy (or even raise your empathic energy if you already are one), and also bring a lot more love into the Universe and your surroundings. We also have an eclipse happening at the end of the week that is going to be monumental to your glow-up phase. You may have been having an off week thus far, and feeling a little conflicted in various ways. I know I have personally, so if you’re feeling a bit off, don’t forget to learn how to reset yourself and breathe through this. It’s totally normal. All these retrogrades ain’t no hoe.

This morning during meditation, I took some time to practice using some of the Mudras. Mudras are hand gestures rooted in Hinduism and Buddhism. While I do not practice either of these religions/spiritualities, I use them during meditation in order to help me seal in energy that I want to enact for the day. They’re used a lot in yoga, and while I’m not a yogi, I intend one day to get to that space where I’m able to use more yoga practices in my daily life in order to center my energy. Today I used the Power Mudra (listed below) in order to help me make sure that I flow through my day with power. If you meditate, you can use some of these in order to seal the energy that you want throughout the day. You don’t have to be Buddhist or Hindu in order to use the Mudras, and I have noticed that my practice of using them while meditating helps me feel even more alive afterwards. There are many different mudras (the link above has different ones for yoga practices), so you have a number you can use while meditating.


Moving forward, I want to get into today’s tarot card pull, which I found very interesting, in light of something I read yesterday. Today’s tarot card pull was The Outcast.


I pulled this card after doing some dice divination. I rolled a 4 twice (I have two sets of dice I roll every morning in order to think about a number I want to keep in mind a day – how many times I take deep breaths when triggered, how many people I check in with a day, etc) and this is the card that I pulled after shuffling 4 times, and removing the first 3 cards off the top of the deck to get to the fourth one. This is what I pulled.

Now, I was reading somewhere on a site I visit frequently, Forever Conscious, about how important it is this week to take some time to disconnect from social media and everyone else and spend time to connect to nature and your thoughts and what is going on with your personal energy.

As we look at this card, we see a naked man, in a carefree and contemplative manner, stretching as if he just accomplished some really difficult work. He is in a very divine pose, if you ask me, and really just submitting himself to everything around him.

“The bag he carries on his shoulder contains the minimum a human being may have. His lips hold a flower, a symbol of innocence and näiveté. His legs are crossed, showing that he can change his position as he pleases. One foot is slightly propped up and is being pecked by a bird, causing him pain – the only feeling that will call him back to reality and prevent him from falling into complete emptiness. The other foot is twisted in an uncomfortable, though not impossible position. In spite of being on the edge of a precipice, he turns his back to it and holds lightly onto a palm tree. [This card] is called “the outcast” because, within several African tribes, a person who did not abide by the rules of his social group had only one alternative: exile.”

A couple of things I want to pull out here are that he is trying to hold onto the lightest amount of baggage he can. He’s not trying to carry anything with him that isn’t necessary. Are you holding onto things of the past that are weighing down on you right now? If so, I believe it’s time to let them go. Are you allowing things or people that don’t necessarily serve your greater good to hold you back? Let them go. Him being pecked by this rooster, in the picture, is causing him pain, and bringing him back to reality. Sometimes, we have people or situations that don’t allow us to be in our most powerful states because we are so worried about perception of how others will receive us when we are functioning at our highest selves. When we are not following the crowd, we tend to feel exiled or like we do not fit in. Is there a problem in being exiled for following what you believe YOU need for your own good? I think not, personally.

If you struggle with FOMO (fear of missing out), is it because you think the situation/event you’re missing out on is worth your time, or do you just want to be a part of the crowd? Or do you consider thinking about how you would rather not energetically be in that space and how it may affect your being? Take some time to think about this. It says that when people in these African cultures didn’t follow the crowd, they would be exiled. Normally, exile, or isolation as I want to refer to it in this case, has always seemed like a bad thing. But, at times, that isolation is what allows you to focus and harness your personal power in a way that you wouldn’t be able to unless you are by yourself, focusing on yourself. Take some time to ponder on this.

“The chosen animal, a rooster, awakens us from a lethargic state. This is not a casual selection. The rooster is chosen because this brave fowl does not exude adrenaline as a result of fear.” Essentially, don’t be fearful of what you’re missing out on. You deserve you-time, and make sure you take this time in order to function at your highest good.

The meaning of this card is that [it might be] “overwhelming and difficult to handle situation(s) or attitude(s). Uneasiness, nervousness, but lightheartedness at the same time. Childish behavior, laziness, complacence, lyricism; immoderate, unrestrained and misunderstood altruism. Hypersensitivity, although seemingly numb to feelings, which may be a mental block. Need to suffer to mature. Total incongruity, sickness, madness, yet geniality at the same time, meaning that he is not using his powers, intelligence, or creative imagination, which is significant.”

Whoa. That’s a lot to take in, even for me as I dive into this. I think of myself and a lot of my personal journey in life. I have been undergoing a transformation internally for quite some time, and it’s been lonely at times. I also have been in emotional spaces where I feel alone, and don’t know who to reach out to, and feel like I need someone there in order to make me feel better. I’ve been hypersensitive myself to things around me at times, but as days have gone on, that has gone away. Why? I realize that my path is for me and not for everyone else. I’m choosing to mature myself, and sometimes, suffering is part of the maturation process. I think of certain battles I’ve been experiencing, such as focusing on my job process, and other instances in my sobriety that have at times in the past made me feel like an outcast. Ironically enough, I don’t feel guilty as much as I used to. I’m moving past feeling like being an outcast or just being ‘different’ is a bad thing. You have to realize that your journey on this planet is special for you, and at times, others won’t get it. You will have people that are in your corner and understand, but the lot won’t.

Are you taking time to daydream and think about what you actually want in your energy? Are you taking time to value what’s important to you, and no one else? You always don’t need to provide an answer to others. Sometimes, you just need to have faith and trust that what is for you is for you and will come in due time. Otherwise, this card can reflect a lot of negative behaviors that cause you to be in a space that doesn’t serve your spirit, and your isolation can be seen as negative. Everyone needs their time to recharge, and you deserve the opportunity to do such. Cut out and cut off what doesn’t resonate with your spirit, or else you can find yourself in spaces that you are mentally blocked off and can’t function. I don’t want that for you, and I’m sure you don’t want that for yourself.

“His reactions are hard to explain, understand, or control. He sees the trees, but not the forest. He loses himself in unnecessary details and his priorities change. His love affairs are conflicting and morbid, and he tends to abandon them. He may be a great poet who will never finish a single tercet, a great musician who will never perform his symphony, etc.” 

Are you losing yourself in unnecessary details for your own personal growth? Are you allowing yourself to just see what’s right in front of you, instead of the grand picture? Are you taking time to really think about what’s most important for you? Do you have a vision of what you want, forgetting about always pleasing others? As someone who has grown up and internalized a life of people pleasing, I am constantly working past putting others before myself. In my line of work, that’s natural for me to put others before me. But, you also have to connect back to the boundaries that you want to set in place in order to make sure that you are functioning at your greatest potential and not letting yourself be taken advantage of. Being an outcast can be positive or negative, based on how you frame your thinking around it. Sometimes, you just need to be alone in order to receive what the Universe and your Ancestors have for you. That doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people – you are your first priority and with the help of your own personal Higher Power or your deepest connection to self, you can ensure that you are isolating yourself when you need to reconnect to what’s most important. That’s your personal path and personal growth. Everyone ain’t made to go along with you, especially if they’re not helping you grow to the space you see yourself being and the person you want to become.

‘If you have no direction, you may tend to find yourself doing things outside your character. You may lack tenderness and love in some aspect. If you find yourself in this situation, change immediately to avoid sinking into the abyss. Do not wait until pain knocks at your door to bring you to reality. If it is not you, but another person, help immediately to free them from that freezing catharsis. Remember: they need affection and understanding immediately.’

As you read this, you may be thinking – hey, I’m actually doing my own thing, feeling good, looking good, flourishing, drinking my water and hydrating, minding my own fucking business. You also could know of a person who is drowning themselves in personal sorrow and doesn’t even realize the damage that they are causing by not functioning in their true light. It’s not your job to judge – it’s your job to guide them to the light. The best way is by trying to show them that you understand, and lead with love today. Remember, you may have been outcast at one point, and someone may have pulled you out of your shell or out of your depression in order to show you the light. We are all on this Earth to connect with one another. Everyone doesn’t always have to be outcast or alone forever in order to gain what they need in regards to their salvation and happiness. You can be that light for them if you see them suffering. Wouldn’t you want that same love and affection back to you?

If you feel like this is you, wake the actual fuck up, strap them boots on, and do the work that is necessary deep down. That may take you taking a step back from the things you normally would do, reassess what is happening around you, and re-emerge when you feel ready. But also, remember that there is someone that you can reach out to if you need that compassion and that love. If you are reading this and don’t feel like you have a ‘person’, I’m willing to be that person for you. Yes, I admit and accept that I am not a perfect person, but I am willing and able to be the light for others in a way that you may not be able to be for yourself. Take the charge of thinking about what is important for you to feel like you are functioning on your personal path towards your own happiness and joy. It’s your birthright to feel that, and if you feel yourself sinking like a ship, it’s time to hop off that bitch and re-pot yourself so you can grow into the beautiful flower that you are. If you see someone else sinking and you are already strapped in strong to your power, reach out to others to make sure that they don’t drown. Everyone needs and deserves an understanding friend or person in their life that will support them. I’m grateful for those people in my life, and all they have done to save me from myself in ways. (shoutout to my tribe and my partner <3)

Pay it forward on today. If you need some time to recalibrate, do such. No one should judge you and if they do, they’re not a part of the social circle you need to be in. Your tribe will come to you in your time of need, and those are the people that will feed your spirit the way that you deserve.

I hope this makes sense. Live in power today, find your true passions, take time for yourself, and don’t drown yourself in sorrow if you’re feeling lonely. Reach out to others for help if necessary, and remember that there’s always someone there, ready and willing to help you if you ask for it.

I love you, if no one else has told you this today.

Amen. Asé.